About me
BUONGIORNO TUTTI! (good day, everyone! in Italiano)
I'm Bayle, a healthy lifestyle, smoothie bowl enthusiast, also I have a crazy sweet tooth! ♡
Like a lot of you, I use to struggle a lot to find balance. I've been through strict dieting, excessive exercising, and short term programs for my body that had led me to binge eating, and then to being bulimic. This "yo-yo effect" has been going on for about 3 years since Year 12. Now, I am a lot better, I am still learning a lot about taking care of my own body and continue to find balance within my eating disorder, but I love to share things as I discover them because I have met so many of you that have the same problem as me, so I started this blog with the aim to help all of you with the same or related problems! If you want to know more about my story (the ugly part), keep reading on!
Or you can try making these gorgeous Pink Pitaya Gronala first! Let me know how they go!
🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑
So here you are, it's quite a story but I thank you first for staying and reading it all!
It all started when I went on an exchange program to Italy when I was 16. Italy, all that cheese, pizzas, spaghetti, pasta, and GELATO! How can you possibly not eat them when you're there?! After 2 months there I gained about 20 pounds, my face was round, I'm one size bigger, but I enjoyed it all. Till the time when I came back to Malaysia, I went back to school and people started to see me again, I begin received tons of negative comments on my body -- : "Hey you gained some weight // you look fatter, rounder // you look like you can't fit in your uniform anymore // you became fat!" My coaches also told me that in order to compete in that sport, I have to shed some pounds to be fit enough for the competition. Other than that, the one that affected me most was my ex-boyfriend. Now, we don't need to know who he is, the only thing you need to know is that the amount of body shaming that I have received from him and the others after I came back from Italy is too much for me to handle.
Since then, I might have been suffering from depression due to the amount of stress I'm taking in daily, I cry to sleep almost every single night thinking I was useless, fat and ugly. The reason why I stayed like this for about half a year was that I didn't tell anyone my problems, I only kept everything to myself, so I suffered alone. Sooner I went on a journey of binge eating, even when I still played sports/exercised almost everyday, but I felt so guilty of the amount of food that I'm taking in. One day I just felt so full and bloated that I had to force myself to purge out the food I ate. I felt so much better after that first time. It then gave me the thought thinking, "Hey, I can do this every time after I eat too much food, so I don't have to worry about the amount of calories I'm eating because I'm gonna purge them out!?" BAD IDEA.
This went on for 3 FULL YEARS, nobody knew, nobody noticed, I continued this pattern of eating : BINGE. PURGE. BINGE AGAIN. PURGE AGAIN. This is me, suffering from Bulimia Nervosa. At times I feel really really bad, why am I doing this to myself? But I just can't seem to control my mind. On the third year, I would tell myself in the afternoon, do not binge, do not eat too much, don't walk to the convenient store to buy junks. I would walk half way back home, and then I tell myself, SCREW IT. I'll just do this one last time. And then I'll walk to the convenient store and buy tons of biscuits, chocolates, bread, eat them. And purge again. I know, you'll ask me why, but I just couldn't control my mind.
I knew this was wrong, so wrong. I tried to fix it, restrictive dieting, detox plans, short programs, but the bulimia bounced back shortly after. It did work for awhile, maybe 2 weeks? But it didn't work for long. Soon after, while having my psychology class my lecturer started teacher about eating disorders, specifically anorexia and bulimia, I realized the symptoms of bulimia is compatible with what I'm experiencing, so I figured that I needed to do something about it. So I started to read on more about bulimia, nutritions, then I stumbled upon articles about balance eating, flexible dieting. I then started to eat a more balanced diet, had a lot more balance and healthier relationship with food. Now I am able to enjoy the food I eat, cookies, ice creams, cakes! I was able to control my mind with my food intake, I eat more whole foods, no restriction. I AM HAPPY WITH HOW I AM RIGHT NOW, I'm finally able to accept my flaws and imperfections, I'm finally able to feel hunger again! I've never been this happy in years!
I am so excited to share my healthy recipes, how I found balance with food, some fitness & lifestyle tips to help people to find balance within themselves. If you are having trouble finding a healthy relationship with food, I'm more than happy to help! Just drop me a message on my Instagram or email. I post lots of photos of my smoothies, food, healthy desserts and also some photos of my daily life!
Thank you so much for staying all the way till here!
Love,
Bayle // xo 💕
I'm Bayle, a healthy lifestyle, smoothie bowl enthusiast, also I have a crazy sweet tooth! ♡
Like a lot of you, I use to struggle a lot to find balance. I've been through strict dieting, excessive exercising, and short term programs for my body that had led me to binge eating, and then to being bulimic. This "yo-yo effect" has been going on for about 3 years since Year 12. Now, I am a lot better, I am still learning a lot about taking care of my own body and continue to find balance within my eating disorder, but I love to share things as I discover them because I have met so many of you that have the same problem as me, so I started this blog with the aim to help all of you with the same or related problems! If you want to know more about my story (the ugly part), keep reading on!
Or you can try making these gorgeous Pink Pitaya Gronala first! Let me know how they go!
🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑🥑
So here you are, it's quite a story but I thank you first for staying and reading it all!
It all started when I went on an exchange program to Italy when I was 16. Italy, all that cheese, pizzas, spaghetti, pasta, and GELATO! How can you possibly not eat them when you're there?! After 2 months there I gained about 20 pounds, my face was round, I'm one size bigger, but I enjoyed it all. Till the time when I came back to Malaysia, I went back to school and people started to see me again, I begin received tons of negative comments on my body -- : "Hey you gained some weight // you look fatter, rounder // you look like you can't fit in your uniform anymore // you became fat!" My coaches also told me that in order to compete in that sport, I have to shed some pounds to be fit enough for the competition. Other than that, the one that affected me most was my ex-boyfriend. Now, we don't need to know who he is, the only thing you need to know is that the amount of body shaming that I have received from him and the others after I came back from Italy is too much for me to handle.
Since then, I might have been suffering from depression due to the amount of stress I'm taking in daily, I cry to sleep almost every single night thinking I was useless, fat and ugly. The reason why I stayed like this for about half a year was that I didn't tell anyone my problems, I only kept everything to myself, so I suffered alone. Sooner I went on a journey of binge eating, even when I still played sports/exercised almost everyday, but I felt so guilty of the amount of food that I'm taking in. One day I just felt so full and bloated that I had to force myself to purge out the food I ate. I felt so much better after that first time. It then gave me the thought thinking, "Hey, I can do this every time after I eat too much food, so I don't have to worry about the amount of calories I'm eating because I'm gonna purge them out!?" BAD IDEA.
This went on for 3 FULL YEARS, nobody knew, nobody noticed, I continued this pattern of eating : BINGE. PURGE. BINGE AGAIN. PURGE AGAIN. This is me, suffering from Bulimia Nervosa. At times I feel really really bad, why am I doing this to myself? But I just can't seem to control my mind. On the third year, I would tell myself in the afternoon, do not binge, do not eat too much, don't walk to the convenient store to buy junks. I would walk half way back home, and then I tell myself, SCREW IT. I'll just do this one last time. And then I'll walk to the convenient store and buy tons of biscuits, chocolates, bread, eat them. And purge again. I know, you'll ask me why, but I just couldn't control my mind.
I knew this was wrong, so wrong. I tried to fix it, restrictive dieting, detox plans, short programs, but the bulimia bounced back shortly after. It did work for awhile, maybe 2 weeks? But it didn't work for long. Soon after, while having my psychology class my lecturer started teacher about eating disorders, specifically anorexia and bulimia, I realized the symptoms of bulimia is compatible with what I'm experiencing, so I figured that I needed to do something about it. So I started to read on more about bulimia, nutritions, then I stumbled upon articles about balance eating, flexible dieting. I then started to eat a more balanced diet, had a lot more balance and healthier relationship with food. Now I am able to enjoy the food I eat, cookies, ice creams, cakes! I was able to control my mind with my food intake, I eat more whole foods, no restriction. I AM HAPPY WITH HOW I AM RIGHT NOW, I'm finally able to accept my flaws and imperfections, I'm finally able to feel hunger again! I've never been this happy in years!
I am so excited to share my healthy recipes, how I found balance with food, some fitness & lifestyle tips to help people to find balance within themselves. If you are having trouble finding a healthy relationship with food, I'm more than happy to help! Just drop me a message on my Instagram or email. I post lots of photos of my smoothies, food, healthy desserts and also some photos of my daily life!
Thank you so much for staying all the way till here!
Love,
Bayle // xo 💕